Unschooling
Two years ago I went to the park. I was meeting up with some people who said they were unschoolers. I didn't know much about unschooling, but thought it sounded intriguing. I didn't use and didn't want to use a single, formal curriculum. As I put it then, I thought I leaned unschooling. As I talked to these three ladies I felt like I didn't really fit in. They talked about their kids playing Minecraft online and not reading until they were like 10. My oldest child was 5 and reading quite well and we didn't own Minecraft. I decided not to jump on the unschooling bandwagon. They were too far off the beaten path for me.
Fast forward two years and I am a loud and proud unschooling mom. What changed? I saw more and more that it wasn't the "formal" things we did that helped them learn the most or made them happiest. It was the learning that is incidental to life that was fun, exciting and made an impact. One step in the process was making a point chart that they had to complete each week, but they were able to pick the activities to do within each area (math and language arts) in order to get to a certain point total and earn a fun surprise on Friday. I liked that, but it still felt a little like I was forcing them to do something that they didn't feel they actually wanted or needed to learn at that moment (and usually they were right).
The other thing that really shaped my thinking was a book called Free to Learn by Peter Gray. He talks a lot about the way children learn best and are happiest. That book was what I needed to let it all go and admit that we really were unschoolers and that we were doing it because we believe it actually is the best thing for our children and our family.
Our family is happier than we have ever been. I feel joy everyday watching my children learn and grow in ways they choose. I don't choose to unschool because it is easy. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to just sit them down and give them "work" and nag them all day to get it done, than to do what I do. I spend my days reading aloud, answering questions, helping someone find just the right materials for a project they are working on, playing soccer basketball (which Stuart invented), teaching kids to communicate and work out problems with each other instead of tattling and fighting, and the list goes on.
How does our day look? Take today as an example. This morning daddy took the car, and it was raining. I needed to find some pictures to scan, so I went out to the garage and everyone followed. The kids built a train in the garage out of boxes, carpet squares and other various objects. They played happily while I worked. Stuart came in and asked me to help him figure out how to get these two pieces of wood together so he could make an ax for Heidi. He had already tried tape, so I plugged in the hot glue gun. Thomas played football on the Wii for a while. Adam fussed and I tried to work on the pictures some more and then do dishes. I tried to read them books on the train, but had to stop because of the baby. They just found something else to do. Thomas had found some scrap wood and designed a chair to go with the workbench he had already made with daddy, but I had told him to wait and I'd help him later, so I did that and then Stuart wanted one and I helped him with that. Meanwhile, Thomas asked to use the saw and I said yes. He cut all the way through a piece of wood and then started cutting some more. At one point we figured out what half of 3 1/2 was, so he could get some pieces the right size. I helped him find something to hold the pieces together. He was making a football tee. Now it is quiet time and Thomas is still working and I am typing this.
I have found what works for us. I am at peace! Now this afternoon we will have to fit in chores and go to soccer practice. Not all time is free time, but a lot of it is and they use it to discover, create, explore, interact, and learn!
If I could go back to that meeting at the park I would have made a point to make a connection with that one lady at the park that seemed a lot like me, but was an unschooler. Not all unschoolers are the same, that is the beauty of it. You let your child's needs and interests drive them. You don't have to be crazy to unschool. Now my mission is to connect with other unschoolers and encourage my kids to have meaningful interactions with others. They can't just go out and play with the neighbor kids, because nobody is out there. I try to organize fun clubs, but everyone is too busy, but I won't give up.
